I Ain’t Worried ‘Bout Nothin’!

In his song, rap artist French Montana said it best, “I ain’t worried ’bout nothin’!”  That’s exactly where I am and that’s my new catchphrase.   I have recently decided to take yet another “plunge” of faith.  I don’t expect anyone to understand, nor do I really care if you do.  My only concern is to be obedient to what God tells me to do.  When they ask me, “What are you going to do?”  My response is always, “I don’t have a clue!  I ain’t worried ’bout nothin’!”  I truly feel that!  When God tells you to do something, no one can tell you what you heard or didn’t hear or how to proceed.  Nothing ticks me off more or faster than someone to question my ability to hear God!  Your wisdom ain’t my wisdom and it’s certainly not greater than mine.  When God is ordering our steps, how can we be cautious.  We either trust Him or we don’t.  I’m choosing not to live that way.

My God is infinite and that means His resources are, too!  Why would I limit the move of God in my life?  The reality is people do it all the time.  I don’t think they mean to, but because of the negative people they surround themselves with, that “feed” starts to take root in them and becomes louder than anything God is telling us.  That voice becomes the voice of fear and they let it rule them.  For me, fear doesn’t deter me; it just propels me to do it even if I’m afraid. I do not have to have all the answers.  Sometimes we just have to step out of the place of comfort and complacency.  God does not desire for us to live that way.  How boring it is to live a life of unexpectancy, especially when you’re not expecting anything from God  I always look for Him to do something…anything…no matter the depth of it.

So, you’re wondering what plunge I took.  I resigned from my job at Round Rock ISD and I’ve put my house on the market.  Yep…I did that thing!  Ever since last year I’ve had this knowing that God is shifting things in my life.  I ignored it at first because I was like, “Lord, I’m happy here!  Why would I want to leave? Besides I only purchased my house a few years ago.”  Well, if you didn’t know, you know now.  God doesn’t care about the plans you’re making especially when His are greater than anything we can imagine.  All last summer this knowing continue to persist.  Around July/August (2016), I was visiting some friends (The Laurels) and I told Melissa that I what I was sensing.  She suggested I watch “Eat, Pray, Love,” starring Julie Roberts.  She loaned me her copy of the movie and the whole time, I wept.  I could sense God speaking to me.  I remember thinking the character she portrayed was so brave to have left everything and live in countries in which she didn’t even know the language.  I was content and thought I had a pretty sweet deal with my job and my home.  For 11 years, I have known that I was living in the will of God AND where He wanted me to be, but to no avail.  He would not have it.  In August I knew without doubt that 2016-2017 would be my last school year of high school.  In fact, in my journal on August 23, 2016, I made the entry, “Today is my last first day of high school.”  I continued to write that throughout the semester.  In October (2016), I sensed God telling me that I need to start minimizing stuff; that I had too much and could stand do away with some things.  I was like, “Okaaaaay!” BUT I did not act.  Then in December (2016), the Lord began to speak to me again.  This time about decluttering.  I didn’t think I had that much stuff, but obviously, to Him, I did!  At someone’s suggestion, I read a book titled, ” The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing,” by Marie Kondo.  It made so much sense.  I began tackling, not rooms, but categories.  Books.  Now those who know me know I’m not just a librarian, but that I love me some books!  It’s just something so comforting about them.  I had to decide which could go and which could stay.  I eliminated the paperbacks, first.  Then the ARCs (Advanced Reader Copies) that I picked up at conferences.  Then I assessed those that I had only read once and asked myself, “Are you REALLY going to read that again?”  The answer was a solid, resounding NO.  Even if I want to re-read a title, I can get it in digital format.  I ended up removing over 250 books from my personal library.  Next came media (DVDs and CDs).  Hundreds of them. When was the last time I listened to a CD since I have the luxury of SIRIUS XM and Pandora?  With streaming media, when was the last time I watched a DVD.  I kept what I deemed my absolute favs (All things Jane Austen, of course and my corny Twilight Sagas).  That left me with about 25 DVDs and 15 CDs.  Then I turned my attention to the closets, cabinets, garage, etc.  That forced me to deal with one “issue” at a time, until it was complete.  This declutter process overflowed to my office at work.  Before I knew it, I had cleaned out files there, too.

After that was done, I began sensing God telling me to apply for jobs.  January 2017 I began seeking out new opportunities with certainty I will not be returning to a school.  As much as I have loved being a school librarian, I was done with teenage disrespect.  At first, I wasnt’ even open to a relo, but who am I to limit what God wants to do in my life.  I began applying in the southeastern United States.  Where I will not say yet, but I desired to be closer to my mother and I have thoroughly enjoyed the perks of being in a state income tax-free state! Resumes out and let me tell you, I’ve never been so sick of writing and rewriting cover letters.  I’ve applied for more jobs than I ever have before!  I’m still trusting God! I’ve had a few interviews and heard back from a few places, but I’m not giving up on the direction of God.

Back in April 2017, the Lord began speaking to me about selling my house.  I was planning to do that anyway, BUT once I had a job.  God was like, “Nope…you need to start this process now.  You don’t know how fast I’m going to move!”  After using three different people to speak to me about it, I was like, “Okaaaaay!  I hear you!”  So I called my realtor to see how soon we could list it.  People, on May 24th my house when on the market.  It’s getting a lot of activity, but not an offer yet.  I find myself praying for the new owner of my home.  The Lord has allowed me to love and care for this home.  I believe that God will place the right family in my home.

So, what is the next step?  I can’t tell you specifically.  I am still trusting Him and know this is part of His plan.  My plan is to stay tuned in to WGOD, listen to His directions and get there with as few distractions as possible.  That means, that I can’t worry about the “how.”  I just have to “do.”  For me that means, God’s got this, and “I ain’t worried ’bout nothin’!”  I can’t wait to share with you where I end up on this amazing Abraham journey, Part 2! Stay tuned!

Author: Redbone & Rice

Member in the ranks of the library profession since 1994: Academic, Special, School and Public; Lover of books; and Awesome! View all posts by Redbone & Rice